Sign in

Writer | Entrepreneur | Blogger | Dreamer | Pro-Oxford Comma; Feel free to check out my blog at

Despite popular belief, Black girls are children too

Photo by Zach Lucero on Unsplash

There are plenty of things that were normalized when I was a kid. But when I look back over my childhood, observing the difference in treatment between my friends and me, there are so many things I wish I could have called out. But just like those friends who needed protecting, I had no idea that we weren’t the ones in the wrong.

I think back to how many times my friends would attract unwanted attention from older boys — and even grown men — because they had the burden of their bodies developing early. It’s as if our entire…

Wheeler-Weaver highlights a bigger issue when it comes to the livelihood of Black women

Khalil Wheeler-Weaver, charged in the death of three women, talks with one of his lawyers from the Public Defender’s Office, October 31, 2019. Photo by Mitsu Yasukawa/

“He doesn’t look like someone who would do something like that”.

This is a common phrase assumption of Khalil Wheeler-Weaver, a young man in his early 20s who is being charged for the murder of three women and attempted murder a fourth woman. He stands with his back straight and his chin up. Often described as good looking, his black rectangular glasses and clean button-up shirts mimic the image of a graduate student. Even during his questioning in regards to the murder of Robin West, police thought him to be mannerly, compliant, and calm.

However, if America has learned…

The internet’s narrative of the viral ‘Gorilla Glue Girl’ has taken so many turns

Tessica Brown awakes after surgery, relieved to feel movement in her hair after over a month; Photo by Entertainment Tonight

The month of February is barely halfway through, but it has been nothing short of a whirlwind for Tessica Brown (better known as ‘Gorilla Glue Girl’) as she became an instant meme after an unfortunate hair incident.

In January, Brown found herself out of her Got2b Glued Spray, a hair product that ensures maximum hold on hairstyles. In an interview, she explains that her decision to use Gorilla Glue adhesive instead was due to her being in a rush to leave her house. She did this with the assumption that she could simply wash it out when she returned home…

We are more than just our trauma

Two Black women laughing together at the beach.
Photo: Thought Catalog/Unsplash

Another year, another Black History Month.

My place of hire, specifically the diversity and inclusion committee, wants to celebrate Black History Month with a watch party later this month. (Cool, I guess?) They sent out a survey to get our feedback on what movie we should watch. The options included selections like the highly anticipated Judas and the Black Messiah, Ava DuVernay’s exceptional 13th, Selma, and Just Mercy.

Honestly, I don’t know who is going to want to “celebrate” Black History Month by attending a virtual watch party with their co-workers on a Friday night. …

Yes, it matters which term you use.

Photo by Jovaughn Stephens on Unsplash

Back when we were just friends, my husband and I were speaking on the phone when I noticed he used the word females when he should have said, women.

I pointed this out to him and after explaining to him the difference — as well as why it personally bothers me — he decided that he would stop doing it.

That’s it. That was the conversation. He realized there was something he did that bothered me — something he doesn’t have to do — and he respected me enough to stop doing it. …

It seems like allowing my future kids to believe in Santa has bigger implications than I thought

Photo by S&B Vonlanthen on Unsplash

I accidentally crushed a classmate’s dream when I was in first grade.

My memory is hazy, (we’re talking over twenty years ago, bare with me). I can only assume that the context was that we were coming up on the holidays and we must have been doing some sort of classroom activity oriented towards Christmas.

One of my classmates and I were talking and she was talking about how excited she was for Christmas. Understandable, as I was always a big Christmas person myself. But somewhere in the conversation, she mentioned something that threw me off completely:

“I’m pretty sure…

Finding value in who I am rather than what I’m able to produce

Photo by Dom Aguiar on Unsplash

After news that many of us would need to go into self-isolation back in March due to the COVID-19 virus, I had a more positive outlook at the time. Like so many other citizens, I thought that after maybe a month things would subside and we would go back to our regularly scheduled programs of working in-office, having large gatherings, and preparing for summer. However, as the month of April progressed it was pretty evident that this wouldn’t be as clear cut as we thought.

As if planning a wedding wasn’t enough, I was keeping pretty high expectations for myself…

A positive highlight to a seriously bizarre year

Photo by Alekon pictures on Unsplash

Here’s an understatement: 2020 is not at all what anyone expected.

Back in December, we were hearing motivational speeches, sermons, and posts about how 2020 is going to be the year of ‘perfect vision’. When you really think about it, they weren’t entirely wrong. It may not be in the passion-filled package that we believed it to be, but 2020 has definitely been an eye-opener if nothing else.

I’ve been busy with a lot of things since the pandemic started, one happened to be a huge life change.

Dating — 2019

In the span of 13 months my now husband and I met…

The things we should (and shouldn’t) focus on

Photo by Isaiah Rustad on Unsplash

I’m not watching any more murder videos. I refuse.

There are too many triggering elements to count when it comes to the killing of Ahmaud Arbery. A 25-year-old Black man goes on a jog, as he usually does, only to be literally stalked and hunted by White men hellbent on conducting an unjust “citizen’s arrest”. Their reason for hunting him down? They believed he was a suspect in a burglary. They claimed that there had been recent reports of a burglary in their neighborhood. They wanted to detain him until authorities could arrive.

But there were no recent reported burglaries

Who needs a check-in and who doesn’t?

Photo by Mohau Mannathoko on Unsplash

Some of my friends are taking self-isolation harder than others. Others don’t seem to be taking it hard at all. And then there are others who seem to be taking it well, but really are just carrying the load of being ‘the strong friend’.

Self Isolation and ‘Real Friends’

In early April, actress Tia Mowry came under fire after tweeting about what it means to have ‘real’ friends in the midst of the pandemic. Mowry was quick to delete the tweet after the massive backlash, but it did bring to light a mentality that too many of us have during this time.

The mindset, to…

Raven J. James

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store