Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Even now, I'm still on the fence when it comes to whether or not I'll watch this movie. This is mainly because of what you've already described, as I see it in people's reactions to the movie. For some, the dynamic between Malcolm and Marie is too chaotic and triggering to the point where they won't even finish the film. For others, they described their characters and the fighting as "relatable" which definitely saddens me.
There's no doubt in my mind that John and Zendaya gave wonderful performances; and, as you said, the eeriness and 'stress' could be something the creators actually wanted the audience to connect to. Zendaya also seemed to be proud of this performance, and I know she wanted the opportunity to 'play her age' as she's been mostly cast as a teenager (which I'm sure contributes to people's uneasiness about her and Washington's age gap). But honestly, I'm just not sure if I can endure such an exhausting story line.